Sasuke Had An Accident
by DelenaFan4ever88
Summary: ONESHOT  While Sasuke was in Naruto's house he had a rather strange accident that led to Sakura giving birth and milk blinding Sasuke's eyes.


Rat man rat man does whatever a rat can! Can he swing from a web no he can't he's a rat, look out he's rat man!

As I was snooping through Naruto's closet, trying to dig up some dirt on his wife, a enormous rat popped out at me. It eyes were yellow and freaky, and it freaking attacked me man, right on the nose! It bite me! Then Naruto walked in to get his wife something to wear and he kicked it in the head, causing my nose to bleed. I was so joyful that the rat was no longer attached to my nostrils that I up and kiss Naruto.

"Dude…what was that for?" I blushed.

"It's a thank you present."

"Well remind me never to help you again." He mumbled. Suddenly the rat jumped over Naruto's head and crawled up his wife's leg. Then she cried out as it bit her on the boob, and because she was pregnant her milk shot across the room and hit me in the eye! I fell to the ground screaming be cause the milk was burning my retinas. Naruto ran over and shot the rat with a rainbow beam of chakra, and the rat imploded, it's guts going everywhere. His intestines were coiled around his head. Then we all began screaming in disgust.

"What do we do know?" Sakura wailed, still holding her aching tit.

"I need a shower!" We all cried simultaneously. We glanced at each other and raced to the bathroom. I won and got to take the shower first. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. Naruto banged loudly.

"Let me in!"

"No!"

"Sasuke, don't me make break down the door!" He threatened. I stuck out my tongue and made a fart noise at him. Suddenly I head the hinges on the door snap. However, Naruto and Sakura ran in so fast that the slipped on some water, and when Sakura's ass hit the floor the baby just shot out of her like a baseball and I caught it.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with this?"

"Forget the rat, I need to take my wife and baby to the hospital.

"Yay! I get to take my shower first!" Naruto glared at me, picked up the squalling kid still covered in slime from his momma's uterus and left. After the shower and all that commotion, I was feeling light headed so I went to take a nap. When I woke up I felt something under my butt. I looked down and it was a fucking rat tail! I ran to the mirror and discovered that I had rat ears and glowing ooze coming from the place on my nose where the rat had bit me. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and slid on the rat guts, and flew out the front door. Right when I did that, Naruto said "Who are you?"

"It's me, Sasuke! That rat turned me into a rat man!"

"Oh shit, Sakura! I must go back to see if she's okay, she was bitten too!" I was sitting there awestricken on the lawn when suddenly I smelled the most delectable sent I had ever smelled before. I turned my head to find a giant wheel of cheddar cheese. I jumped on it and immediately began to lick and bite it. Cheese had never tasted so good. But then the villagers became alarmed with my rat-like features.

"Ew! A giant rat man is eating our cheese!"

"Hey, I'm not giant, the rat didn't increase my size, you know!" I declared angrily. I ran off crying "I'm not fat, leave me alone!" I ran into a dark ally and I just sat there like _what am I going to do to fix this? I can't be a rat forever! Maybe if I get bit by a human, I'll turn back to normal! _So I ran down the street begging people to bite me. I then came across as creepy old guy who looked one hundred.

"I'll bite you!" He said in a really creepy voice. However, when the man tried to bite my his damn drenchers fell out and he put his nasty gums on my arm, and when he stopped my arm was al soggy. I gagged slightly, but then I got an idea.

"Hey, old man, suck the wound on my nose, get the glowing rat juices out of my nose!"

"Okay, little boy…but only because I like you." I my head I was thinking PEDOPHILE! But I really didn't wanna be a rat anymore. So the old man sucked all the rat juice out of my nose and I realized that my rat ears began to shrink. When he was done, my nose was all soggy with old man slobber. But I was still a rat, so I ran back to Naruto's house and took another shower. I thought if I repeated everything that happened that day, I'd wake up human again. When I woke up Naruto, Sakura, and the baby were home. They woke me up and I was human again!

"Oh my goodness, I had the weirdest dream that I was a rat and-" They stopped me.

"Sasuke, that wasn't a dream." Suddenly we were interrupted by the doorbell. Sakura handed the baby to Naruto and went to answer it. It was the creepy old man but he had rat whiskers and a tail and was screaming "What the hell did you do to me little boy?"

DUN-DUN-DUN…THE END.


End file.
